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7 day fast
Not one voicemail returned
The main line is clearly on DND
As I’m blowing into my prayers like Nintendo 64 game cartridges
Trying to remove the debris off of this dusty prayer life
The Word says He’s always on time
But I feel like my request is on backlog
I can’t believe I’ve been ghosted by the one I can’t even see
The supernatural read receipt
I try to message God
Green bubble appears
Wowwwwwwwwww
The Provider has changed
I’m trying to get back to blue
To You

Fast extended
Indefinitely
Til I definitely get clarity
Like that neighbor, friend, church message, God vision, plus fortune cookie clarity
I need to be fo sho
This move needs to be the right move
I need a sign
Simeon can I go?
Whatcha say?
This way
That way
Some day
When’s the day?

Clearly not today
So I’ll preoccupy myself with busyness
Because what’s a plan without action
But what’s action without direction?
Whewwwww
God get out of my businessssss!!!
How you gonna drop nuggets of truth but not answer my question?
You’re mad annoying…

Next stanza
Cause I’m in my feelings
Low key this is not a game
Like I needed an answer
Yesterday
But I’m on week two of this fast and it ain’t really been a fast
M.I.A trying to get them prayers high like planes
I mean I threw up a few prayers
And them suckers came flying right back down like a loose leaf paper airplane
Silent mode activated
And at this point, I’m not even desperately trying to reach You
I’ve adapted to unanswered prayers
I mean unanswered thoughts
Because sis when’s the last time you prayed prayed?
Yes the double emphasis
That’s a cultural node right there

Now I’m in my business
Intention.
Defined as the product of attention directed towards something
Well my attention has been on adulting is absolute garbage
Work life balance seems like a myth
My tummy will continue to disrespect me as I frequent Crumble bakery
And did I mention career crisis???
So somewhere in this chaos I make time for You
Sir I don’t even regularly self care for me
But my Spotify has been a little less Donda Donda Donda Donda
And a little more Father Father Father Father give me a sign

I’m standing on the curb
Marker in hand
Sign saying yes, no, maybe so
To feel homeless in Your presence
But You still provide the shelter
I can’t grasp that type of love
Yet at the intersection, you roll down Your window and offer me change
Change that comes with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
I am literally in awe
I have nothing to give, but everything to receive
Yet I’m still called, loved, and blessed by you

Y’all this is the prayer of the year
And as I patiently await your answer
I will be content as those 3 moving dots juggle across my heart
As I wait on Your response
I won’t move
I won’t waiver
I will trust
And I will wait
Until Your answer appears